Here are a couple of pictures from today. The kids were awesome!
I’m sure many of you may know that our family has been in the middle of some legal disputes with the State. I want to update you and let you know that we have settled the case against the State and feel an enormous sense of relief. Our time with our parents was too short, Mom and Dad’s moments walking on this earth were not enough days. Tying up this part of the tragedy has left us with an overwhelming feeling of gratitude and respect towards all of those who have carried us on their shoulders during this time.
Today we held a local press conference with:
I’m not sure of the specifics but I would bet that you could get a peek at what we had to say during the local news tonight. If you’re lucky, you might even get a shot of me walking!
Again, with every ounce of our souls we want to express thanks to our friends, family, strangers, and the media; all who have taken great care of us!
Dear Richard Sherman,
It was really nice to meet you the other day in the Las Vegas airport. I’m sure you don’t remember me because you are undoubtedly approached by hundreds of people a day. Just to remind you, I was the cute blonde in the hot pink wheelchair with the killer smile. I respect your decision to not take a picture together expressing that it would draw too much attention. Although it was disappointing, I found that you were incredibly gracious and kind when we were chatting. I can’t imagine having that many strangers interrupt my daily activities, and still have the patience and good attitude to have pleasantries with each and every one of them.
Richard, Rich, Sherm, Shermy, I want you to know just how much of an inspiration you have been to me. In December of 2012 I had the most horrific day of my life. I was in a car accident in which a tree fell on our car, the lives of my family and I were changed forever. You see, my family and I had planned to go on a family vacation right before Christmas. We piled in the car and headed to Leavenworth, Washington. My parents in the front seat, myself, my sister Jaime, her husband Steven, and my brother Jeremy in the back. When the tree struck our car my parents were instantly killed, my sister and brother-in-law broke both of their legs in numerous spots, arms, hips, facial bones, and many internal injuries, my brother received slightly less trauma, and I was left paralyzed from the neck down. At 27 years old it was easy to find the dark place in my mind that told me that my life was over. Prior to the accident I was an active woman who ran half marathons, triathlons, went wine tasting with my girlfriends, lived in a cute apartment downtown, and loved my job as a teacher fiercely. As time progressed, and I received the support of family and friends, I began to grow stronger. Proving many of the doctors wrong I began to walk, slowly, unsteadily, and with help, but I embraced the idea that my life was not over yet. With help and guidance I began to get pieces of my life back. I work out four times a week with a handsome and very muscly therapist, I do volunteer tutoring at a school across the street, and I am working towards getting back in the classroom again to teach. I know that I have more to offer this world, and that my paralysis can hold my body back, but it will not slow my spirit down.
I want you to know that I have drawn a lot of my inspiration from you. Getting picked in the fifth round of the NFL draft, watching 24 corners go before you can seem like you’ve already been kicked to the curb before you even started. But, you never let that bother you. You said I am the best, no one can stop me, and I will be the most successful cornerback in the NFL. The doctors and therapist continued to bring me what was probably realistic, but negative news and channeling your strength I was able to say I am going to walk again, I will feed myself, I will brush my hair, and I will damn right learn how to kick some ass along the way. It inspires me that you speak your mind no matter where you are, or who you are talking to. Similarly, I’ve seen you write the most profound and intelligent articles I have ever seen from a football player. You have proven your knowledge of the game, and your ability to share your thinking with others. You bring my spirits up by reminding me that I am the only one that is holding me back. In fact, I believe it was you who quoted John Wooden in saying that “Success is never final; Failure is never fatal; It’s courage that counts!”
Let me go on to say something even more profound or sagacious. I know we only met for a moment, and that there is no reason that you would remember me, but just as I have drawn strength from you, I think you’ll find that you can draw strength from me. There is no cure for spinal cord injury. There is no magic pill that can make any athlete taller. We all have to work with what we have been given. Each morning I wake up and I struggle to sit up, but as a stretch and begin my morning routine I put my game face on and get ready to start kicking some ass. Every little thing is harder for me than anyone else, but that doesn’t mean that I’m about to give in. Strength and growth come only through continuous effort and struggle. There is no shortcut to a great achievement. There is no substitute for doing the work. As Einstein once said, “Genius is 1% talent and 99% hard work.” You must run to be a runner. You must write to be a writer. You must actively work on a business venture to learn how to run a successful business.
Some of the issues that you take on have to do with race. Although we are different colors, I like to think that not only can I understand, but that I am an advocate for all types of coteries. First, I grew up in a multicultural—rainbow family —if you will. My sister is Asian, and my brother is black. This was all before the time of Brangelina, and certainly before it was acceptable to have this type of family. Growing up, I was very involved in ensuring equality for both my brother and sister. Now, I find myself as a minority in the disabled group and an advocate for others like myself. You would be amazed how many businesses just don’t give a damn about anyone who isn’t able bodied. Like you, I believe in speaking up for either those who don’t have a voice themselves, or in subject matter that needs to be addressed by someone who has a position that can be supportive. Even when we discover what motivates us, we can’t go that distance alone.
Let’s be honest, you have a smoking hot body! :-) I know that you have to work really hard for that. Well, I have to work really hard for mine too. If I go one day without walking, I go one day without stretching, if I go one day without the painstakingly and seemingly easy gestures of standing and reaching for something I can lose everything. My strength deteriorates so quickly. So while you’re in the gym, working on that impeccable chest, think of me, and how hard I have to work to do the little things, like eat, brush my teeth, or pull up my pants so that the whole world doesn’t get a little show of my crack!
So let me know when you’re ready to be best friends, because I see a lot of good in you, and I think you will find a lot of good in me.
Keep on keeping on!
Oh, and I will see you at the softball game in a couple of weeks!
I know, I know, I know, it is been far too long since I’ve blogged. I do want to keep everyone updated, I guess I was just enjoying a short moment in time where I felt like I may been adapting to what is a “new normal”. To be fair, I am a long way from what I would feel is “settled”, but I’m certainly getting closer!
So! I have so much news to share with you! But I’m thinking that it would be unwise to blow it all in one post, so I will just have to go piece by piece! First of all, you should know that the knee surgery went fantastic! I feel great, my stride is smoother, and my knees don’t crunch when I put weight on them. Hum, who knew? It was a long, tedious, and ongoing recovery. Two months nonweightbearing, one month where I can only stand, and only after that was I allowed to start walking again. Shockingly, I didn’t lose any stamina or muscle mass… Nope… That is a big fat lie! I got weak, and unsteady, so I am working on building up my Badonkadonk butt so that I can be a master walker!
What really inspired me to get back on here and blog is that I get to brag a little. Well, I brag all the time, but this one felt different. A nice looking lad hit on me! It has been ages since something like that has happened by someone who is not a total goofball :-). Not to be egotistical, vain, or narcissistic but I had kind of forgotten how flattering it was. Let me tell you, I tried to dress super professional for work, but going out on the weekends, or on my birthday, I had some pretty hot little numbers back in the day!
That leads us to talk about self image, most days I can look in the mirror and say “damn, I look pretty good today!” There are also plenty of days where is say “ehh, that will do.” But even on the days where I feel gorgeous, I haven’t really been hit on since the accident. Most women are actually overly generous with their compliments towards me, but the men don’t say anything or advert their eyes. To be honest, I haven’t thought much about it, or been bothered by it. But after yesterday, I realized that that part of my life had changed. I don’t usually view myself as disabled or handicapped, but I understand that individuals who have not met me that comes across as their first impression of me. They see crutches, a walker, or wheelchair, they see something different from themselves before they see me.
I was getting my hair done yesterday and I had a male stylist :-) He went to great lengths to ensure that I knew that he was straight. We chatted, as you do at the salon. He has spiky hair, big muscles, and some pretty killer tattoos. He spent extra time telling me that I would look beautiful with bangs and that he thought I looked stunning. No mention of my wheelchair for once, which was nice. As we’re finishing up he definitely made it a “can I see you again outside of work comment”.
I politely declined, but I did promise to come back in eight weeks and we could talk about my bangs.
All of our lives are starting to move on in different directions, but I also want to let you know that my family is doing great. We are happy, healthy, and still so very appreciative of everything that you all have done for us.
Keep checking in, because I have some news about driving, work, boys, and certainly the progress that I have made! Get excited!
Keep on keeping on!
Many of you have heard some rumors, or had some questions about what has been going on lately! Rightfully so :-)
My siblings are chugging along with school and work. All of them doing very well, and making their big sister very proud!
I had initially planned on returning to school this January. Unfortunately, I did not quite make the deadline. I was really very upset at first, I was looking forward to it so very much. I love my job, I love working with kids, not only teaching them reading, writing, and math, but also life skills. Many students don’t get the opportunity to learn the appropriate way to fix the mistake! When you’re 12 years old, you are supposed to be making mistakes, or you are not growing up right! However, there is an appropriate way to handle it. “I’m sorry, I messed up, I made a mistake, how can I make this right?” Teaching kids how to do this is one of my favorite things about my job, so of course I was disappointed when I knew I wasn’t ready to come back.
One of the reasons I wasn’t ready was because of my knees. I don’t think the doctors
anticipated on me walking as much as I was doing. After the accident, we realized that my knees were very messed up, for lack of a better word. I was missing three ligaments on my right one, one on my left, my meniscus, patella, popliteus muscle all in need of repair.
Since the doctors didn’t anticipate my walking, we didn’t do a lot about it. When I first started walking, we put a brace on to help support, and that did the job in the beginning. However, in the last few months I’ve worked very hard to walk just about everywhere. It is slow, pretty wobbly, and I need a walker or crutches, but I was doing it! As a result, I pretty much destroyed whatever was left of my knees. Walking became challenging, pretty painful, and my knees looked more like grapefruits.
So I found a wonderful surgeon who came up with a great game plan to get me some new knees.
The unfortunate part was that for about six weeks I needed to keep my legs straight out, no bending. For eight weeks, no weight bearing… Meaning no walking or standing whatsoever! And probably no real walking until about 12 weeks out.
I live with one of my really good friends in an adorable one-story house. However, this house has no way to accommodate my monstrous legs sticking straight out from a wheelchair!
So, I am back at a nursing facility until I am able to weight bear for a bit. It is frustrating to be back here, but I am so looking forward to what my new legs have in store for me. Plus, it gives me plenty of time to work on my hands, and in being honest with you; they still need a whole lot of work. Functionality is still an issue.
So, I am in here on lockdown for a few weeks, doing my best to be super cheery and not let the hospital atmosphere take me down. I tell you what, getting to know some of the older people are hysterical! Absolutely one of the brightest points my day! So as of now, I am just keeping on, keeping on.
Oh yes, about that Christmas card. Most definitely, still on its way :-) I thought about writing it while I was high on painkillers, but I was advised against it. Should get there sometime before summer though! :-)
Also, I want to give a big shout out to my little brother Jer Bear who turned 23 yesterday! I could not be more proud of the man he has become. He is the man who makes toasts at the head of the table, the one who gives his all no matter what he is doing, and his most special gift is making you feel like the most important person in the world when you are with him. You meet him once, I promise you will remember you, your favorite color, and who all your close friends of. I am so very proud!
Does it seem like a year to you? I haven’t decided if it feels like it has been a whole lot shorter, or a lot longer! There are times when I sincerely forget it is the year 2013, I feel like
I missed an entire year! There are other times when I look back on this year and it seems like it went by so quick. There is never a good time for an accident, but there is something universally beguiling about the renewal of our lives in the New Year.
Maybe it’s a coincidence, maybe not, that the accident fell on the Winter Solstice. The Winter Solstice has been an important time throughout history. It marks the shortest day of the year as well as the longest night. The sun is at its lowest and weakest point, and from this point forward, the light will grow brighter and stronger. It is the turning point of the year. The Winter Solstice marks a central part of nature’s cycle. It is a time of new growth, rebirth and renewal. It is a reminder that in order to begin anew, the old must end. It is the time of year when we pay homage to the darkness of life’s mysteries, while still keeping our faith. Spring will come again.
Let’s just take a moment and reflect on where my family was last year at this time. My parents were gone; the presents that they so carefully bought for us were still under the tree.
My little brother Jeremy bravely stood and reassured our community that we were going to be okay. He had an injured shoulder, and very much felt the weight and the responsibility to take care of his sisters. Jaime and Steven were both medically asleep in the ICU with broken legs, ribs, arms, and pelvises. I was at a hazy point,
medicated, and learning that I was paralyzed from the neck down. I had a severe laceration that had cut my mouth, lips, and chin all the way through, a compound fracture in my femur, missing more than 50% of my knees, and some hardware in my neck where it had broken. My friends and family never left our side. 24 hours a day. For three straight months I had one of my loved ones by my side. They took shifts, a few hours at a time, and overnight. I think this speaks volumes as to the kind of people that they are, and the inner strength and
selflessness that they were willing to give to Jaime, Steven, Jeremy, and me.
There is no way that I can put into words the wonderful gifts that you all gave us. I’m going to try to name a few, but I want you to know that there is so much more! As Jeremy went back to school he had many of his friend’s parents call and check up on him, he got so many cookies sent to him that he didn’t know what to do with them! He said that they were literally on every counter of the kitchen! You called him and helped tutor him and check in with school! And I’m so incredibly proud to say that Jeremy got the best grades of his college career this semester! You visited Jaime and Steven and helped scratch their backs and anywhere that they couldn’t reach! You sent videos, letters, and notes of well wishes. As for me, I can elaborate so much more because I was there! I had people itching my nose, helping me wash my face and brush my teeth, for a long time I couldn’t feed myself so my wonderful neighbor boys that I grew up spoon fed me! And Lord knows that I was not about to eat the hospital food, so I constantly had helpers bring me tasty
sustenance :-) My friends brushed my hair, let me yell at them in frustration,
and then were not afraid to kick my butt when I got too out of line! I can assure it really didn’t happen that often… But I wouldn’t ask anyone about it, they might lie :-)
While we’re on this topic, I need to give a shout out to my Aunt Terry. I don’t know how anyone gets through a tragedy like this without someone so smart and so strong. Without hesitation she took us in, has taken us to every medical appointment, has helped us figure out the financial part of this accident, and has willingly given up so many parts of her life for us. Other than my mother and father, I have never had anyone love me so deeply before.
Here’s the thing, take a look at us now! Look at what all of you have done for us. Anyone that has sent a note, said a prayer, or just thought of us during your day has helped us in our recovery. Jeremy is wildly successful in school, and he would want you to know that his intermural football team won the championship :-) Jaime is the healing champion! Her bones are basically all healed, she only needs to walk with a cane for long distances, and she is back in law school. Steven is the cutest thing! He is back at Microsoft and is up and walking around all of the time. They bought an adorable house in Issaquah, and have three precious cats! I am trucking along. I am a little behind in my healing compared to them, but I’m so fiercely competitive that I have every intention of catching up! I go to exercise therapy four times a week for two hours a day; I have physical therapy, occupational therapy, and a slight addiction to online shopping :-) Every Monday I go over to my friend’s house for dinner and we eat and play with all their little one-year-olds. On Wednesdays, we do girls night and drink wine and catch up about our week – and talk smack about boys :-). And of course there are always fun things to do on the weekends. I love men, so I’m always putting out the vibe :-) and really, I am a happy person.
I did not intend for this post to be so long, actually I wanted it to be more about my parents. But they would want you to know, and I do want you to know that we are okay! We are happy, and we have you all to thank for that.
So, in the spirit of Tim and Cheryl li ght a candle tonight and let it burn bright and give your loved ones a kiss knowing that nothing quite lasts forever. Mom and dad loved the holidays; they had a way of inviting everyone into the folds of our family. You don’t get to pick your family, but you only get one. Treasure the good things in each other can have a very Merry Christmas!!!
Keep on, keeping on!
Well, in true Owen fashion our Christmas card is going to be more like a New Year’s card. In fact, I remember one year our Christmas card was actually more of a Valentine’s Day update :-)
My mother had one of those huge daytime planners with everyone’s address dating back to I’m sure what was the Stone Age. She never let that thing out of her sight. In fact, I remember when she was writing her dissertation for her PhD she said that if the house was burning down she would grab her floppy disk with the dissertation on it, and her address book. Priorities :-) At the time of the accident she unfortunately had this precious gem with her. Everything in the car was unsalvageable so I am missing all of the addresses that my mom worked so tirelessly to save!
I would really love to send you a holiday card this year. If you would be willing to send your address to my personal email I would be very grateful! You should also know, that I am saving mine in a much more technologically safe way!
Merry Christmas everyone!